peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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