I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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