so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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