i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I can text with my tongue
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Randomize