Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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