those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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