i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize