I only kidnapped one of them. chill
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
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