she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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