i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
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