I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize