need another drink. this is the easiest way
I look better un-naked...
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
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I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
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Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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