Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
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