remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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