yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
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The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
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Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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