I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I am not eating basil off your cock
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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