the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
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