All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize