Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize