I never want to see another naked old woman again.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
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