i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize