I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
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For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
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Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
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