chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
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