I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize