I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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