they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Randomize