please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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