$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
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Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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