hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize