I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
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