omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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