Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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