when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Randomize