what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize