david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize