I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize