Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
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she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
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my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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