Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
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I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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