Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
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