if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize