some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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