dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
These tits shall not be calmed
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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