I'm jealous of your bromance
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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