Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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