My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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