just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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