First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize