I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
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theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
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I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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