If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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