It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize